God help me. How do I start this? What was going on then? Was it the Age of Aquarius or were we all Manson cult followers. I can't be sure of what was going on everywhere, but all the people I knew were tripped out in one way or another. Maybe it was the cyclamates we all drank in the fizzies as kids.
I'm not sure of the first time I heard Black Sabbath. Damn, I played that album repeatedly and loud. I listened to other heavy bands but then the thought of these dark forces that we could harness... I just wanted to know if it was possible. Could we break free from all the repressive forces? Everyday of my school life I heard about sin. All those forbidden acts and the wrath of god. I hated going to confession. Every Friday they'd line us up and in we'd go. Let's see... what could I say that sounds good... a little bit of sin, but too much. Somehow our inner most thoughts were grounds for punishment too. You mean there's a way to reach out and find what these other dimensions might hold without becoming cowering and obedient, groveling for a bit redemption. I wanted to see what was out there.
A few ex Catholic school kids and I got into the Satanic Bible. (Later it was Raymond Buckland) I haven't looked at that book in decades, but I'm pretty sure we got instruction for some rituals there. I was already practicing meditation and brought myself to out of body experiences a few times. I had no problem channeling my spirit. I don't think there were really many results to any of the rituals we performed except for sex. We were novices and yeah, we did them in my room. Not the sex. Just the rituals. I had an upstairs room and my parents were usually downstairs having a few suburban cocktails. "What's going on up there?" "Nothing. Just listening to music."
I mentioned a while back not many of us had cars. Just a few. So there were a lot of unusual sex settings. It seems as though our rituals worked. We did them to entice our desired. But really, everyone was out of their minds with sex then, I don't think we needed the added forces. They were fun anyway. So I brought my desired to one of the chapels at my parish. Churches were always open then. I don't know, I'm afraid to think and sorry if we had anything to do with them being locked up nowadays. But anyway. We consecrated it. The walls of this chapel were all jutting natural rocks, like a grotto.
We took mescaline that night. I will never forget each rock morphed into a fox. The walls of the church were undulating with the movement of the foxes. We sat in a pew towards the back of the church and did it. Sitting position. No thought of "what if someone comes in?" Those really were the days, before cameras everywhere. What a night. 🌟
Out of the small group, I definitely was into the church sex sacrament more than anyone else.😼 I could feel the sacredness that permeated. Air and fire through repeated burning of incense. Water through the water blessed with intention. Earth through the natural materials of wood and rock in the buildings.
The next time we went to the fancy cathedral in the next town. We found the choir box up above most comfortable. Nice view and the thought of the choir singing there on Sunday gave us a giggle.
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| View from the box |
Someone lifted a platen and I feel bad about that. It's just a thing, but who knows what kind of emotion it held. Could be a cursed object now.
Several more times we made visits to various chapels. Usually high on hash or mescaline. What was with us? I don't know.
The last time we made use of the church they had locked the doors. I think there were more people using it than us. I know there were. Someone probably got caught. Well, I don't know... it just couldn't wait I guess. Where are we going to go? Right here. In the doorway? Ok. So it proceeded. A few minutes in we hear yelling in horrible New York accents, "Hey, we see you in there." "We called the police." Shit. They called the police. Well, we skedaddled. We really should have stayed and let them arrest us. That would have been a scandal for all time. Plenty more anyway.
So. I guess some people must have blabbed or something. I don't know. I was walking by the church on my way back from a friends and the "head priest" came briskly walking towards me. I just have a couple of words for that guy and one of them is prick. Many young people had words like that for him. He wasn't a kindly benefactor hoping to bring a prodigal son into his pack. He was cruel to many of the boys. Well, he stopped me and told me I could never go back into the church to receive the sacraments. I didn't say anything but it sure didn't break me. I didn't go home and cry. I went on with it.
I also want to say we never hurt a human besides ourselves and I always have a place in my heart for young people that may go a little crazy. I know how the mind can go there.
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